how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
