p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
