we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
