I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
