Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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