using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize