Kiss
Puke
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We are all done wearing pants today
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
