I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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