I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
accomplished twins. life is a go
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
