There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
