make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
then he tried to convert me to islam
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
