He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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