That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
