If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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