Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
