Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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