I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
