I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize