I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
