I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
