hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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