What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
