i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
