I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just threw up on my dentist
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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