I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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