you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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