Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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