i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
where does the pee come out of this thing
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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