lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
