So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize