And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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