you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
