Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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