youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Be still, my beating vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
