just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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