i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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