He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
