If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
