I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
