Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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