Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
