If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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