I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
