my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
