Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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