i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
