My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
