Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Please don't give away my fajitas
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
