Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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