I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize