you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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