Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
