maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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