Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
