found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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