oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
