we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
