She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
