if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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