sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
