I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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